monday blue??? nt really..

2dae pass by quite fast..
maybe because i didnt really pay attention in clas except for a math class..
i really dun hav e mood..
i still cant get over it..
about ulp..
this morning, when i reach schl, ppl still talking bout ulp...
asking whether i failed or passed..
i told them i failed..
then..
i walked out of class, n cried..
i was okay alrd..
when i left home, i didnt think bout it anymore..
i thought i had left it behind..
bt when they ask me, i remembered it again..
e feeling..
e terrible feeling..

aft schl, my mood came back to normal..
i settled myself down before last lesson end..
aft dat had dikir barat rehearsal..
students from china who came to visit our school today, for one week, joined us..
they were quite enthu bout it..
at least they're nt e shy type..
it made me relief to know dat..

aft dikir barat rehearsal, i went 2 amk hub with vivian..
e purpose is 2 find gifts 4 our fren, jessica birthday which falls on 8 aug 08..
yeah.. during olympic..
haha..
there was a traffic on our way there..
car accident..
i wonder if there were any victims..
i wanted to help, bt i cant..
i cant get down from e bus..
even if i was given chance 2 go down, they'll juz push me aside, because of my age..
i hope nothing serious happen, i hope there were no victims..
if they were, i sincerely prayed that they'll b fine soon, really..

when we reach there, we went 2 mini toons..
one of e guy, who serve us, nt really serve, bt i duno wad is e rite word to use, bt nvm..
he is very humorous!
hahas..
i duno how 2 put it dat way..
if u were there, u'll also laugh at him..
he's quite frenly, though..
if every staff are juz like him, nt onli in mini toons, bt in every where, all around e world, then there will b peace..

2dae ends juz like dat..
hmm...
at least, other than e incident in e morning..
everything seems to go on quite smoothly 2dae..
i'm very happy..
i hope dat everyday will b like 2dae, nothing serious happen in my life..

blurrr.....

last post was 2nd june..
now is 2nd august..
oh my god..
wxactly 2 moths ago..

2dae decided to post is because i'm really down..
i need 2 puor out all my emotion..
i'm sorry dat i hav decided to pour it here..

i duno wer 2 start..
i'll juz come 2 e point..
i failed ULP (Unit Leader Programme)
i was really very sad..
i really have put in a lot of effort in there..
i hav also sacrificed a lot of things for this..
i always bring e best of myself during ULP..
during e camp n all dat..
bt i stil failed..
of corz, i cried..

my frens, my VI they all tried 2 comfort me..
my frens said, nvm.. at least u didnt go 4 nothing..
u hav gained a lot of knowledge from ULP.
my VI told me, dun worry, dun be sad, a lot of VI also failed in ULP,
u must prove 2 them dat u can do it!
my ULP ma'am told us, wadeva e result is, whether u failed or passed,
u'll still go back to ur unit n do ur unit proud, bring ur unit 2 a greater height.
bring all ur knowledge in ULP 2 ur unit..

i always told myself nt 2 regret..
since i hav failed..
nothing can b done..
but i'll not give up!
i will nt 4get e goal i hav written in e smaal yellow notes given by my chief mentor in ULP..
dat is to bring my unit 2 a greater height, n prove 2 them dat even though i'm a foreigner n a newcomer, i can be a good leader as well!..

although i failed ULP, i will still continue this journey..
e journey 2 b a good leader n 2 b a red x youth..
i want 2 continue 2 b involve in red x..
i wan 2 b a VI aft i graduated..
i want to continue 2 help others..
red x is my life..
i luv red x..
e failure i'm facing now is nothing aft i realize dat i still hav so many things 2 achieve..
i wun give up..
i wun!!!

-red crossholic-