really duno

starting of e day was ok.. during MT class everything was per normal..
maybe bcoz i was surrounded by lots of laughter..
this yr's MT class is e best MT clas..
although sometimes it's boring, bt bcoz of e sec 5, everything seemed so interesting..
it didnt make me thing of other things else..

e problem started since ystrdy..
yeah.. had some private matters..
anyway, i was tired.. n get angry n irritated very easily..
yeah.. dat's e main thing..
aft MT class, everything seemed so different..
had history lesson.. mrs. peh didnt come.. so havin free period..
did homework.. then. recess..
did eat.. bt also thinking.. was quiet all e time...
mei commented "u're weird 2dae. juz like wad happened to vivi last time round"
sorry mei, to have made u guys worried..
yeah.. really.. i know.. aft dat.. i knw i cant hold it anymore..
i dun wana cry in front of them..
i told them i'm goin upstairs to e hall 1st..
vivian came along.. accompanying me..
goin up e stairs, vivian asked wad happened.. n threaten me to say..
i really cant hold it any longer..
i manage 2 say 4 words before i burst into tears..
dat is "i want to cry"
didnt go into e hall yet.. how to go in when i'm in tears??
cried for a while outside e hall..
luckily nobody noticed..
bell rang..
hurriedly wipe my tears.. n go in..
sitting down, do lots of thinking..
then..
cry again..
bt i didnt let my tears rolled down..
i juz sat down.. staring onto e floor..
can feel that my eyes were wet..
n became blur..
bt still.. e tears managed to go back in..
yeah..
aft dat.. when we all goin back to classroom..
to my surprised, sb called me..
familiar yet felt so strange..
yeah.. the voice of my kor.. lol..
duno whether bcoz i was feeling so down dat his voice seemed so differrent or wad..
sorry kor.. didnt really reply u..
i was really very down..
when walk up e stairs, suddenly think of all my frens
who will b worrying about me..
i cried again.. of corz, again, without their notice..

e math class was very attentive.. bt..
i really hav no mood.. come in left, go out by right ear..

chemistry class even worse..
sorry cher..
i couldnt concentrate at all..
rather u went thru my gifted programme booklet..

fnn lesson was stil ok..
went into comp lab..
didnt think too much.. although there were cases where i thought of it.. bt nt so much..

eng lesson, mrs.tay didnt come again..
she isnt feeling well..
we are taken by mrs. eng again..

aft schl went to eat at subway..
aft dat went home.. nt my new house..
currently staying in vivian's place 4 some reasons..
she said wana go check up.. in e end, went to thomson..
reached there, e personnel said it was alrd closed..
took bus to bishan..
finding gift for my sister's engagement party..
aft dat.. she commented..
"wad will make u juz smile a bit??"
i really duno.. she suggested me to eat ice cream..
yeah.. listened to her suggestion n we went to swensens..
ate sth light.. then here come e desert!!
ate ice cream..
aft dat took bus home..
started to feel better..
back to normal again..
bt dat's only for today..
wad bout tomoro??
can i guarantee dat everything will b like normal???

my life is kinda messy nowadays...
i duno how to put it..
bt.. my close frens know is enough...
let's call it a day..
bye..

movin house...

yeah... it's e fifth time dat i moved house..
lol.. 1st time when i was 4 yrs old in indonesia..
we moved to a bigger house dat can fit my whole family inside..
dat was e best part.. coz i only need to bring myself n my doll to e new house..
i missed dat house.. it was really huge.. n hav a very nice scenery on e 3rd floor..
we normally had bbq every big occasion like xmas eve, new yr celebration, n stuffs..
i'll take a picture of it when i went back there ltr..
bt i duno when is dat goin to happen..
7 yrs ltr, when i was 12, we moved to batam, another part of indonesia..
i remember i didnt help out in anything.. i only carry my own back pack n my real rabbit, yeah.. he could (past tense) jump here n there. he rest in peace 2 yrs ago.
3 yrs later, when i was 15 i move to sgp.. notice dat i use I instead of we??
coz i was e only one move to sgp to further my studies.. dat was still ok..
coz i only brought my own things there.. only clothes, i think..
e rest i dun need to bring.. u can expect me to bring my furniture here, rite??
dat wasnt so bad.. 2 full yrs ltr, which is now..
i'm movin frm sengkang to hougang..
this is so far e worst part.. aft 2 full yrs studying here, i hav bunch of txtbks n stuffs...
especially my reading books.. u know.. e fiction n non-fiction books..
yeah.. damn heavy.. bt my i think lena's has e most heavier books ba..
hahas... she has spent 7 yrs here le...
haha.. k la.. i need to continue to do the-movin-house stuffs liao..
byee... c ya...

weird!!

i duno wad's e problem with e ppl around me..
nowadays they seemed so different!!
either they became moody, or get irritated or angry very easily..
i'm seriuos.. if u really wana me to list them out.. omg..
kor, dun wory.. i'm nt saying u moody.. bt it's my other frens..
i really duno why... am i being over-sensitive??
bt.. u knw wad.. normally my instinct is very reliable..
this yr is damn weird...
nadz.. updated.. liao...

gt a lot of things happening n my life..
dun wish to list them out one by one..
in general.. i lost things.. n also spent a lot of money...
nt only e fee for o level subjects..
a lot spent on other aspects as well..

health deteriorating.. as usual...
both physically n mentally tired..
i really wana spend as much time as i can with my family..
i duno.. i need love.. i need them to shower me with their love..
i barely feel it now.. as we mostly only talk through phone..
i miss them.. so much..
unless i can find sb dat can love me here..
as in.. really love me like my parents do..
although nobody cpould possibly replace both my parents..
bt at least.. there's sb can shower me with the love..