big reunion!!!

went back to batam last weekend..
my grandma bdae on e sat n my dad on e sun..

my grandma bdae was e most exciting one..
coz.. most of her children came to our house..
from all over indonesia..
lol.. nt really la.. bt some of them came to batam especially for this..
it's a big reunion 4 us, the grandchildren..
we threw a big party in my house..
to celebrate my grandma's bdae..
poor mum... she cooked herself..
bt e food was nice!!
hey.. dat's my mum, u know?? haha..
i get to meet most of my cousins..
we chatted for nearly e whole nite (except for the time when i babysitting, see below)..
asking about each other's life..
suddenly it reminds me of those days..
when i was in batam..
this particular cousin, considered dote on me la..
he is 2-3 years older than me..
he was my chauffer..
lol.. coz we share the same friends..
his friends are my friends and vice versa..
we also share the same hobby..
so we'll stick together..
when my parents couldnt reach me, they'll automatically call him..
haha..
do u know dat it's normal for us to walk side by side n holding hands??
we are too close..
not only for us.. with the other cousins and even our normal frens..
i'm really very glad to hav a big n bonded family like this..
for us, holding hands doesnt mean BGR..
bt in sgp, u juz see a boy n a girl sit face to face or talk n laugh together, or wadeva, we'll say they're in BGR..
huh.. sometimes.. cant stand e atmosphere here..

i also became nanny...
haha.. normally, i only babysit one of my aunts children..
coz she came to our house since she was a baby..
her mum was busy tending the shop..
so.. yeah...
bt this time round, coz her house was under renovation, both of the daughters came our house..
so..
48 hours baby sit 2 children..
n during e celebration of our grandma's bdae, i babysit 4 children under the age of 5..
it was very very tiring.. they taking turns to ask me to carry them..
it's either they wana see the fishes or they crying for their mums..
coz we hav one big aquarium in e house.. e children like to see the fishes from the opening..
duno why..
then.. when their mums n dads all dining, they cried..
coz we taking turns to eat.. the teenagers, then e "uncles aunties"
haha.. i couldnt handle all of them at once..
i wun expect my cousins (guy) to help me, they'll only make them cry even harder..
as for e girls, only 1 of the childen wana play with them..
e rest of them are afraid of strangers ( most of my cousins are from afar..)
soo... damn tiring... bt fun though..

today...
vivian said wana go met up with her dad..
so ask me to accompany me..
went to bugis..
e part dat i hated is when we were waiting for the taxi..
haiz..
then.. "somebody" said wana treat me sakae lo..
bt then in the end dun hav..
hikz..

haha...
nothing more to add..
oh ya..
juz one thing to complaint..
today was so much abount waiting!!! waiting for taxi, waiting for bus 88 when i wana go home..
2dae was e 1st time i waited so long..
haiz... lan fei wo de shi jian..
haha..
k la..
let's call it a day ba...
bye...

hiii...

juz now.. when studying with mei in mc.d, she suddenly said, "i'll hav to wait next month to read ur blog again." unaware of her criticism, i ask her why with an innocent look.. bt then, before she answered, i realised dat it was because i once updated my blog only the next month.. she is trying to be funny..
lol..
it's nt that i dun want to update.. bt i really dun hav e time..
because i will need to spent hours juz to blog..
:D

--------------------------------

today.... i sprain my waist!! wth...
jinsheng, yu xiang, wen sheng, gerjo, sebastian..
listen here!!!
because of u ppl.. i sprain my waist!!!!
this was what happened..
me n jessica was in an empty classroom, waiting for vivian..
then ribka, who was outside, we dun let her in by pulling e handle..
haha.. we want to play with her la..
it was fun!!
then when e boys came, they force the door to open..
i'm nt dat strong la..
then when it's opened, duno whose idea, to lock us inside..
they didnt hav e key.. they juz merely use their bodies to lean over the door..
bt hey.. they r boys!! e 3 of them, or even 2 of them.. juz need to lean over the door.. n dat's it..\
because the door swing outwards..
then me, jesica n clarissa (she pop out suddenly.. lol)
were locked inside lo..
they dun wan to open..
we pushed..
we banged..
we tried all ways to make e door open, bt it cant..
bt somehow we manage to open a bit with the broom..
then..
they finally had enough of playing.. they let the door opened..
bt quickly, they ran away..
haha..
dare to do, bt dun dare to face the consequences..
wad a guy...
haiz..
bt i know..
they're juz playful..
haha..
it's fun though.. although sweat a lot.. n sprained my waist somemore..
bt i dun hold it againts them lar..
it's nt totally their faults..
i had a problem with my waist before..
maybe juz now i bang too hard..
then become like dat..
wana do a full body x-ray.. bt afraid..
afraid of e result..

i wonder why i had so many problems..
gastric, sprained leg, srpained waist...
sooo many problems..
u know wad...
i failed my 2.4 km run..
1st time because i lazy to run.. no motivation... so failed..
2nd time was because my ankle... i sprained my ankle be4 ma.. then juz started to run onli, i accidentally sprained a bit again.. in e end walk back to e starting point barefooted..
3rd n 4th both were because of my gastric..
damn it..
i wana pass!!! who dun wan pass??
sit n reach, shuttle run, sit up, standing board jump and pull up, all passed!!!
some of it i passed with nearly gold somemore..
then because of 2.4, i fail everything..
wth..
yesterday hav e urge of running again..
bt.. i afraid sth happen again.. tomoro exam alrd..
eng ppr 1 n 2..
wad if..
if...
sth really happen??
i cant afford to fail my eng!!
soo......
i rather giv up on 2.4..
quite sad.. bt what to do???
haiz...
bt still.. sth happend to me.. my waist.. haha..

--------------------

i hav one book to recommend it to u..
"Tuesdays with Morrie" by Mitch Albom
it was 1st publish in e US in 1997..
wew.. it was like 11 years ago..
haha...
bt it's still available now..
u hav o try.. it's really nice..
or if u wana borrow from me, also can..
bt see who 1st..
lol..
u can really learn a lot of thins inside.. e greatest life lesson..
u should try..
the author really can bring u into e world of his..
he describe every details, yet it wun bore u to sleep..
if u really focus on e reading, u may sometimes smile, sometimes laugh and even cry...
hmm....
really a good book..
u may also wan to try "the five ppl u met in heaven" and "for one more day"
both by Mitch Albom as well..

-once u learn how to die, u learn how to live-

....

19.09.08,

which is yesterday, i went to harbourfront with mei..
she was goin back to Batam..
so i see her off lor...
hendri came along..
with 1 fren..
err... his name is Y... S....
i 4gt... lol.. i hav fish memory..
i didnt call his name dat often.. so cant remeber..
bt he said juz call him YS..

we went to vivo..
walk here n there.. no destination..
hendri lo..
said he wana organize, bt in the end he didnt do it..
we went to toy r us 1st..
YS said wana find his fren..
then we waited outside..
i duno wad is dat game called..
e one dat u put $1 coin, then turn, one ball will come out..
u'll understand la..
mei go n press the 'money return' button..
suddenly $1 coin drop..
haha..
maybe somebody left it ba..
then we use dat $1 to turn..
altough e one come out isnt e one dat i want..
bt nvm..
haha..
dat's life..
sometimes.. u wun get wad u really want..

then YS suggest to watch movie.. bt then dun hav any intereting movie 2 watch..
so didnt watch..

i'll remember dat day very much..
coz dat day, hendri bully me a lot!!!!!
huh... cant understand why he likes 2 bully me dat much..
i pity mei siax..
coz "bei jia cai cong jian" between me n hendri..
when he bully me, i'll threat mei dat i'll go n find vivian straight away..
haha..
bt actually i wun do dat lar..
i'm nt dat bad k..
finally...
no destination..
we went to mc.d n sit..
hendri treat us ice cream..
then we play truth n dare..
bt hendri love to "sua lai!"
then like 2 bully me, as usual..
finally, here r e five characteristics somebody said about me:
-violence ( coz hendri bully me a lot.. so i like to hit him..)
-he didnt understand e dialects dat i speak (is dat a kind of characteristic? lol)
-cheerful (this is e only + characteristic dat he mentioned about)
- like to push away e faults 2 other person (coz when he said i'm quite violent, i told him t's hendri's fault.. so he said i like to push my faults to other ppl lo..bt i'm a responsible lad ok?? haiya.. aynthing lar.. my family n frens know dat is enough for me..)
- i 4gt.. hahaha.. really couldnt remember..

then they said they need 2 go orchar.. so they left..
as me, i stayed behind with mei.. coz her departure time is like 1 more hour..
then finally.. she left..
i went home..

20.09.08,
which is today, i didnt went out.. unless for lunch n send vivian home lar..
when i woke up in e morning.. i did a lot of thinking..
a lot.. until duno which one to start with..
hmm...
i realise dat.. i really miss my family..
really..
i miss their love..
i miss their protection..
i miss their hugs..
i miss their kisses..
i miss their voices..
i miss those familiar faces which i saw it for 15 years..
now i'm 16+
for e past 1 n half years, i didnt see them everyday anymore..

i really learn a lot since i came here..
i became more matured, i think..
haha..
only my thinking became matured..
bt my character still 4 year old.. (coz i was born in leapyear!) haha

i like to put other ppl in e 1st place..
before i did sth, i will always think about other 1st..
this make me really tired..
i ever thought dat.. juz for 1 time
let me be selfish juz for 1 time
to put myself in e 1st place..
bt i cant bring myself to do that..
i juz cant..
i duno why..

vivian came 2 my house..
we planned 2 study together..
bt in the end is i look aft her, i, myself didnt study..
she fell sick.. cant eat out.. so i went to cold storage buy some ingredients then cook sth bland for her..
she said e food is very bland...
sad siax.. bcoz she fell sick, dat's why i cook sth bland for her..
i also follow suit.. she ate bland, i also..
bt she still complaint dat e food too bland..
haiz..
i think i can b a doc liao.. lol..
when ppl fell sick will come n find me..
yesterday my fren fell sick, schlmate..
she said she's giddy.. ask whether i hav panadol..
i dun hav..
so i hep her massage her head.
then she felt better liao, i think..
then my another fren..
said he muscle ache..
then ask me to massage for him for a while..
lol..
they think i open a massage centre a??
then today..
vivian fell sick..
i look aft her..
then cook 4 her also..
this isnt e 1st time she came 2 my house when she fell sick lar..
last time she also came.. i look aft her n cook 4 her as well..
haiz....
i was wondering.."who's next?" haha..

lonely mid autumn festival..

1st of all, hapy mid autumn festival!!
did u had a very good day??
i dun.. i woke up then went to harbourfront..
my parents just gt back from cruise..
so i went there meet up with them before they head back to batam..
we had lunch together, as a celebration of mid autumn festival..
lol.. then.. we discussed about my intention to go to malaysia..
it's a programme to train my leadership skills n teamwork...
i really wish to go.. bt my father dun allow..
i knew he is worried.. he juz wanted to protect me..
he didnt want any harm come upon me.. i understand..
bt.. quite disappointed tough..
then i told him, i want a piano..
i hav a keyboard, bt i want a piano..
then he agreed into it.. he said he would rather buy me a piano than letting me go to malaysia altough it is more costly but it will not harm me...
sometimes i find my father a bit too protective in terms of letting me go overseas n explore myself without them.. bt i know that he dote on me.. he cares for me..
if he didnt care for me, he wouldnt b so protective..

when they headed back to batam, i went home..
doing nothing.. watch tv at most..
i planned to hav instant noodles as my dinner..
it's very common for me to hav instant noodles for dinner..
bt then, i'm curious of how the neighbourhood will celebrate it, so i decided to dine outside..
to my surprise, there was nothing.. no celebration at all.. they juz sell mooncakes..
bt no other celebration..

on my way back home, i didnt see anyone playing lanterns..
nt even the children..
then suddenly my mind flow to e past..
when i was young.. in my hometown..
mid autumn was one of e big day for us, the children..
our parents will buy us the latest design of the lanterns for us..
at night, we'll play the lanterns together.. we hav a very friendly neighbourhood..
i missed those days.. how i wish i can go back to the past..

i miss my family..

i miss those days,
when i woke up n hav breakfast together with them..
i miss those days,
when i came back from schl n hav lunch together with them..
i miss those days,
when i came back from tuition n hav dinner with them..
i miss those days,
when we'll hav our short weekend go to a small village where my father grew up by my father's very own ship..
i miss those days..
really... u wun know how i feel.. unless u were in my shoes..
what i wish now is to hurry up finish my studies here.. get a good grades..
help out in my father's company.. so that he can enjoy his life..
altough e word business is never in my dictionary, bt i dun mind.. because i love my family..
i can study psychology later.. yeah.. my parents sacrificed a lot for me..
it's nt that i cant pursue my dream anymore.. i still can.. it's juz dat i still hav to wait..
a small sacrifice like this is nothing to compare to my parents' sacrifeced for us..

....

2dae..
didnt o 2 schl..
morning wen i woke up.. felt sth wrong with my stomach..
it's considered lao mao bing liau..
coz my stomach always giv me problems one..
maybe coz i ate to oily food this few days during my saty in johor..
e food there damn oily..
even my mum said..
"is e oil here very cheap??"
lol.. it's either too oily or too sweet..

yesterday went out with mei n hendri..
we met up at marina square..
then.. e one who said wana treat duno wer 2 eat..
then we wana went to holland v to eat nasi lemak..
bt wen we reach e bus stop, we duno which bus 2 take..
haha.. then we decided 2 go orchard..
wen reach, we spent around an hour juz 2 find a place to eat..
spin here n there..
in e end.. went 2 APR..
then went to cine, juz 4 neoprint..
haha..

aft dat we went 2 hf 2 fetch vivi..
we reach there before vivian..
so we went 2 skypark 1st..
play water.. lol..
hendri's GREAT idea, throw mei's shoe into e "sea"
then mei throw mine..
felt very unfair, so i throw hendri's..
haha... then time 2 go down to fetch vivi liao..
wen met up with her..
found out dat she lost her sim card...

nothing more 2 say liao..
bai..

haa... omg...

wen i saw my post.. i hav an urged to wait 4 tomoro then blogging..
u know why?? see e date carefully.. last post was 4th august, n tomoro is 4th sept.. understand now??
bt really hav a lot of things 2 say.. until cant wait anymore..

a lot of things happened..
i dun no wad's with me since start of august till last 2 weeks..
i seemed to lose my temper very easily..
am tired??
i think so..

23 of august was my mum's bdae..
i intended 2 went back on dat day itself..
bt i think i cant hold it aymore, haha...
coz quite a long time ago since i went back..
on 22nd august,
i told my dad, i took e last ferry, which was 10 o'clock...
my dad shocked siax..
bt he didnt say anything..
hahahaa..
on e journey, i thought a lot..
i was thinking of e reason of me throwing temper so easily..
was it because i was too tired??
on that day itself, i told myself..
i'll relax myself during my stay in batam..
although only 2 days.. bt i'm contented tough..
at least for these 2 days i was with my family all e time..
wen i came back, i realise dat i became much better..
was it because my family is like my charger??
haha...
since then, i neva pressurize myself 2 do things..
nt really dun pressurize at all, i mean..
nt like before..
if u knew me, u'll know wad i mean..
i was sb who wans 2 make things best out of it..
even if i need 2 sacrifice "sth"
n dat "sth" is nt casual at all..
now i dun.. coz i realise dat, dat "sth", if i lost it, i'll neva find it again..

now.. i need 2 revise 4 end of year liao..
stress.. even i neva press myself, time will..
afraid dat i'll fail..
duno leh..
i juz dun wan myself 2 regret..
dat's all..

i felt like goin 2 beach or somewer hav water.. like reservoir??
of corz, except 4 canal.. hahaha...
lake, river, maybe??
no, i was not born by e river or etc.. haha...
i juz like e feeling..
e feeling of tranquility..
i juz wan 2 b there, without saying a word..
stare at e sky n surrounding..

2dae, wen i was on my way 2 schl 4 hol acad prog..
i look out of e window.. i saw a lot of cars, carrrying diiferent types of people..
- car with a lot of cutie designs inside..full of the pooh.. even e chairs.. omg.. it must hav cost a bomb! haha..
- car with one family inside, e dad n mum n 1 child.. they seem 2 b from a wealthy family..
- a van with one family inside.. e dad was driving, mum n e youngest child sat in front, e other 2 children sat behind.. i could only see their heads pop out to e front seat.. they may nt from a wealthy family, bt they're happy tough..
- a truck with a bunch of bangla workers sat behind of it.. getting ready to work, i think..
- a mini truck, where e dad sat in front, driving, n e 2 children, a gurl n a boy, sat in an open space, which i thought it was quite dangerous 4 their age.. i was thinking whether they followed their dad 2 work coz of e holiday.. hahaaa...
- a taxi with a guy sitting behind, with e suit curling e hand n a tie around e neck.. lookd very formal.. hahaa...

u know wAD??
i had juz quarrel with 1 of my fren..
i was juzt kidding with him.. i thought he knew me n dat he would know dat i dun mean it..
bt still, he had chosen 2 believe it.. i was quite disappointed..
4get it ba...

u know wad?? i received this news recently..
e person dat i hav been finding all this while..
finalyy, i get a bit of clue..
my cousin saw him before when he was driving 2 schl..
juz recently.. although i didnt see him personally. bt
at least now i know.. he is still in batam..
he had nt gone else wer..
i hope dat, he is still in a good shape..
he wasnt my boyfren.. i wun consider him 2 be my boyfren, neither will he, consider me 2 b his gurlfren ..
we were too close till we neva think of dat..
bt, maybe it's a fate.. time's up..
we suddenly juz lost contact without any reason..
ppl say, wer ther is meeting, there will always be seperating..
i wish i can meet him again.. at least let me see him once more... juz once more..
let me thank him n ask this qstn dat i hav been wanting 2 ask him.. n let us hav a proper good bye, before we we go on our seperate ways..

this 14 sept, is a big day in chinese calender.. wen i was in batam, we'll go 2 vihara 2 do some voluntary work.. with a bunch of frens..
i wish i could meet him there.. too bad it was on sunday..
i need to come back here on sunday evening.. i wun get e chance 2 do voluntary work.. coz we normally did dat at night, wer there will b a lot of ppl.. anyway.. i really hope 2 see him..will this be granted??

-wishin 2 see him-